Never play leapfrog with a Dalek!

Marco? Polo!

We got it all on TV-8!

Quick, Sarah!  To the Whomobile!

<WakkoJr> Just a sex...

<AmishCaptain> I always wear a scarf and I got a cool hat, and my homies agree my TARDIS looks good in black FOOL!

<ThomasJefferson> Look, everybody!  John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!

<RossPerot> As you see here on this chart.... I have more money that God,and I know what to do with it...

* KinkyTurtle goes cow tipping... "Here, Bessie, here am 15%."

!services.wtower.com! Captain is using me to: bite Wakko!

<Brendan> That's just silly, Richard...  Most people don't have carbonated pee.

<WakkoJr> thank god for *** #watertower You're not channel operator

<RfSkip> I thought cap was a village ppl allready  <WakkoJr> he'd fit in quite nicely... indian, construction worker, time lord...

"You know that the WB execs are never on top when they're with their SO's?  They can't be on top.  They always have to fuck up."

<Captain> "Somebody switched this Mac to evil."  <Baron> "Oh, wait... that's the only setting it has."

<Merlin> Absolut Power: The Boris Yeltsin Story

<Keeper> Cheese and Wakkoroni.  The Bitiest!

<MasemJMouse> "We IRC hard, we play hard"

<Merlin> the word of the day is legs. lets go spread the word

<WakkyMouse> I thought: Are ppl so stupid they need a how-to manual for SEX?!  <wbpaul> Tab A, Slot B.

<Captain> May WB's lawyers be forever infested with pubic lice!  <Wakko> mm, crabs

<Yakko> woah.. i've cursed the captain! [E/X] -Captain- my wunna() returns milla for you.

<Wakko>  <DarkTod> Ya can't scare me I know who the sysop of internet is!

" You want this, don't you? "[strokes light saber] "The meat is swelling in you now.  Take your jedi  weapon stroke me down with it and your journy twards the dark side will be compleat." 

<WakkoKitty> AIE! Formica! I have FUCK on my countertops!?!?!

* MasemJMouse DKN there was Timelord WaREzd00ds!  <Captain> Sure, Masem...  Want Windows 2000?

<Justin> In the Voltron, the mighty Voltron, the lion forms the head...

<RR_Hunter> I'll bet Masem programs while having se... no, I won't say it.  someone else, please do.  <Vakko> seconds of cheese?

<SabreMau> Seemed more like 2K/sex...

<Justin> "Eliminate wasted regenerations with our water softener"! You know bout this, Cap?

"Excuse me, have you got Prince Albert in a LAN?"

<BartSimpson> Action Captain, with kung fu grip!

<Captain> Time Lords don't have fur, duh!

<LisaSimpson> Bah!

<Captain> "How dare you fart before my wife?!"  "Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn!"

<Justin> you can't bullfight an amoeba

<Bugzy> <JusticePicard>Make it sue!  Make it sue!!

<Captain> "And can you feeeeel the laaaag tonight..?"

<MasemJMouse> Simpson episode we do NOT want to see: Lisa's First Period :-)  <LisaSimpson> .

* MasemJMouse can imagine Homer trying to teach Bart.. guy stuff.  <Captain> Guy stuff, you mean, like shaving, and changing the oil in your car?

-Postal_Phreak- [Server Wide Notice] Wasnt that a friendly split?

<Varro> mousehard! <MasemJMouse> um NO!

"To all the girls I've loved before/I haven't got that rash no more..."

"I love you, you love me, pedobeastiality..."

<Wakko> BABY GOT SAQ!

* MasemJMouse wonders what type of jobs that 'average' TimeLords gets.. you know, flipping burgers, bagging groceries.... ;-)

*** Topic for #linuxwarez: aww yea,i just hacked 127.0.0.1, and the admin there is an IDIOT

"Spin us a web, you're the Spiderman..."

* Taperlass watches Bananas in Pajamas, or "Giant Throbbing Erections in Prison Garb".

<Wakko> Marv Albert honorary biteywarner  <Wakko> he was honored in ceremonies yesterday

<WakkyMouse> where is io(), anyway?  <Taper_At_Home> Circling jupiter().

<Taperborg> One assimilates you. You are now one.

<InigoMontoyaBorg> My name is Inigo Montoya of Borg.  You killed my father.  Prepare to be assimilated.

"Jesus saves, but Wayne Gretzky scores on the rebound."

<Justin> well you know when people say "READ THE FUCKIN' MANUAL!"?  <Justin> The Kama Sutra IS the "fucking manual"

<Taperlass> Afrodesiac?  A drug conducive to big hair?

* MasemJMouse might have to switch to bitch

*** Narfcake has quit IRC (dave fishie. i have proof.)

*** Justin has quit IRC (Vagina dentata! What a lovely phraze! Vagina dentata! It ain't no passing faze! It means no worries for the rest of your days... well, depending on how you define worry)

* Plucky_ gets into a rubber car.  * Captain joins Plucky.  <Captain> Ack, this car is full of condoms!  * Plucky slaps his forehead.

<ShanieDyQatt> Mmmmm. . . wanking.

<MasemJMouse> TV guide poll was like , so.. so DIC!

<Kahn_Souphanousinphone> The New Gummi Penis de Milo

* RichardFox looks at the current top ten in video sales. "Number nine is 'Playboy's Voluptuous Vixens'? *shakes head* I've gotta start paying more attention to Felina's audition sheets..."

* Mintaka QILL WOOJ.  <WakkoJr> ow

<HomerSimpson> Mmm, bop!

<MasemJMouse> The Erotic adventures of Teddy Ruxpin  <Zeeker> you know where that cassette goes.....

<D-SOLO> 2,1Beware of the pinguins!

* Weirdguy chuckles - lise, don't make it so obvious next time!  <Weirdguy> cap comes, and you come right after!  it, well, obvious!  (G)

<Wakko_> tape sucks anyway..  <Taperlass> One does not!  <Taperlass> Well, not _often_.  <Wakko_> bah not YOU!!

"Only the Doctor Master and Mistress Romana may poke this unit!"

* WakkoKitty so bitey them fake wind-up teeth run away when they seem him comin

<RR_Hunter> "The only intuitive interface is the nipple; beyond that, everything is learned."

<Alystin> *** Signoff: Trent (erection reset by beer)

<Justin> Macgruff was talking about the evils of child molestation, and then points to Teddy Ruxpin. Teddy has an enourmous erection and is saying "Hi. My name is Teddy Ruxpin, can you and I be friends?" Then MacGruff blows him away. With his gun, I mean.

<bobby> <anal> sympathise </anal>  <Baz> Uh oh... Bobby's anus is talking again.

* Taperlass popularizes asexual reproduction and makes millions selling her book:  "Lighting, Mitosis, and budding:  Take reproduction into your own hands!  So to speak."

* [Gwen] is here to wash your vagina.  <Taperlass> Okay, Gwen, if you like...

<Captain> Wakky, remember those evil "Protect Yourself" things at the end of TR?  <Keeper> so Teddy Ruxpin was instructing kids on the use of a condom? Who knew?

<MollyMouse> when I was little I never liked sleeping with Teddy Ruxpin cause he would hurt you

* Baz takes HotWarner into the BackOffice and installs Baz in her

<WakkoJr> Walk like a man.  Talk like a man.  <Keeper> Sing like a girl.

* WakkoJr is away - bah...something stiqing up... - Messages will be collected to build a dam.  (They may be read if you have candy)

* WakkoJr is ALWAYS hard!

<Skippy> TeddyRuxpin is qool! (compared to barney the prehistoric purple afterbirth or Satan)

<DolphinDave> Wooj plays the skin flute.

<Captain> OH MY GOD!  There's an alt.sex.teddy-ruxpin newsgroup!  <RobbieD> alt.sex.t-r?  Man, those tapes are hard to find. :)

*** Captain changes topic to "Come dream with me tonight..."  <WakkoJr> do I have to?  What if it's a wet dream?

* WakkoJr pulls his pants down to assbite people.

* GrapeyWakkoQat listens to TR bitch about needing more RAM, or something..

<Freakkoon> meredith brooks sux!  <WakkoJr> you're just jealous because she's a bitch and you're not.

"TEDDY: Hi! My name is Teddy Terminator. I'm here to kill you!"

*** Kenny has quit IRC (Killed (services.dal.net (NickServ Enforcement)))  <Cartman> Oh my GOD! They killed Kenny!

"I love you period, do you love me Kotex pad?  Please, please, little tampon, I wanna hold you in my diaphragm..."  -- Amanda Leahy

* TakaWarner laughs.. "Another glorious chapter of Klingon history? Tell me, do they still sing songs of the Great Tribble Hunt?"

<Brendan> Wow...  We're entertaining each other with pee stories...

<Brendan> Ever notice how almost any 50s love song can be made into a stalker song by singing it in a Peter Lorre voice?

<Varro> heh....the official name for someone from Guam is a "Guamanian".  <Brendan> Not the Guamish?  Or Guammibears?

* PenelopeCat lies down and lets Wakky on.

<Captain> I'll have you know that "Mmmbop" is an Anglicanization of an Old High Gallifreyan epithet.  All this time Hanson has been telling you to go have your way with a tribble.

<Warner_X2> *why* didn't KWB do a moq MIB trailer for THAT! "In a world of fanboys posting nekkid pictues of our toons, only one thing stands between them having fun and us not getting to bitch about it... Warner Brothers legal department *is* S-O-B"

<WakkoKitty> qatwoman.. what a pussy.

<Skippy> refresh my memory, which one was lwaxana? <MasemJMouse> lwaxana is Troi's mother. <WakkoMinq> drwxr-xr-x is lwaxana's mother..

<Captain> "Pocket Hercules"?? That sounds like some kind of marital aid...

<RCspot> lucky nat, i got to sepnd all day int eh car wioth my parents and we screwed and stuff...

<Tetragon> Tetragon shits up next to Dot and gently pets her shoulder..

"Yhuba Gold gets you stoned."  "...So does blasphemy under the Old Testament."

<KnkTrtl> Whps!  <JaqRabbit> Had a vowel movement?  <Qartman> Vanna White's new book, right?

<MikoSqueerel> Vagina dentata = Bitey vagina?  <Lupin> "Oh! Oh! Oh!"*CHOMP*"OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

* MasemJMouse drools a bit at the inside of this guy

<RichardFox> That sounds like something you'd hear in a sitcom where a female CS major's seducing someone.  "Let me slip into DOS mode..."

<YakkoFox> okkay, i'm cashing in my cluepon: what the frag is a LART?  <WakkyMouse> Luser Attitude Re-adjustment Tool. Usually a blunt heavy object.

* MasemJMouse signs rich up for a cruise on "The Yiff Boat"  <RichardFox> WAH!

<Brendan> "We'd like to read a statement we've prepared for the Justice Department: 'Fuck you.'  All further comments can be directed to our web page of a brick wall."

<MasemJMouse> What's wrong with peeing in public ?

<NotHereWarner> (You ppl are EVIL in a can!)

* Yakko closes his eyes and mutters something in bash.  Several thousand for..done loopes discharge from his palms, burying Yakko in a pile of recursion and deadlock.

* Captain closes his eyes and mutters something in Old High Gallifreyan. A lightning bolt strikes WakkoJr, who turns rosy-cheeked and sings... "I like to sing-a... About the moon-a, and the June-a, and the spring-a..."

* NeuCoyote closes his eyes and... hey, where'd everybody go??

* Yakko closes his eyes and mutters `Gwen.'  Several thousand.. *blinkblink* waitasec, not such a good idea, there..

-DALnet- Please note: Not everyone on DALnet is nice. [Please do NOT reply]

* Captain DOES NOT HAVE TEDDY RUXPIN UNDEROOS! <Captain> (They never made them.)

* Mad_Latinist is frollickin' in the outback!  * WakkyMouse gets a mallet and smashes Latinist Buddy!

* NeuCoyote is gonna have to raid Natte's pantry sometime.  * Varro raids Natte's panties...er, pantry.

<WakkoJr> I figured out what use nipples on a guy is... Telling you how cold it is :P

"Rain is just God peeing on you."

<neucoyote> DAMNIT!  Maaaaaahm, Dalnets bein a dildo!

<Michiel> Testosteroney : the San Francisco treat.

<Dairenn> Am I lagged or am in Ohio?  <Yakko> both, if yer on glass.

* Taperlass lives her life like a candle in the wind.

* LeloniBunny opens up her pooter and shoots the little lag gremlin that's in there

* DickTrickle runs over Ondre too.

<Brendan> Russian National Pastime:  Seeing how many guys named Aleksandr they can cram into a space station.

<David_K> "I'm hung like a snuffalupagus.  problem is, only big bird can see it." - me

<David_K> ummmm, there nudity in boogienights?  <Brendan> Nope.  It's a G-rated movie about the porn industry.

<MikoSqueerel> How in tarnation do you conjugate a penis anyhoo?

<mburns> i f*cking hate school!  <Skippy> I see school failed to teach you how to spell fucking  <Skippy> is * a vowel?  <mburns> it's a U  <mburns> plug it in  <Skippy> * = u? I did not know that <KinkyTurtle> it're called a wildcard.

<Brendan> Whee!  I get to send my vewwy first C&D!  <Varro> You know, you never forget your first.

<LethalSkippy> Cap, calling me "treerat" is insulting. I prefer to be called "Vermin tree-dweller of Color". Thank you. 

* WakkyMouse formats Skippy and loads TreeBSD on him.

<WakkoKitty> i bet martha stewart's a crack addict or something really sinister in her spare time

<Brendan> Yeah, if Queen Elizabeth tries barging in here, I'm poppin' a cap in her royal ass.

<Plucky> It's strange.. with web search engines, no matter what you search for, it always leads eventually to porn sites.

* Justin immagines Patrick Stewart saying "I am Teddy Ruxpin of the Federation starship Enterprise. Can you and I be friends?"

<Bugzy> <BorgifiedTeddyRuxpin>I am Teddy Ruxpin of Borg.  Can you and I be part of the collective?

<Qartman> <Bart> (to Cartman) AY CARAMBA! What a FAT ASS!

<LisaSimpson> <Bart> Hey mom, Snowball's being a dildo! <Marge> Watch your language, young man!

<WakkoKitty> bah cap has me talking about martha stweart being a QRAQ ADDICT! fuq, now i'll never get invited to her stupid thanksgiving party where she lapdances for the male guests..

<WakkoJr> bah CHANGE THE SUBJEQT!

<Captain> Woojes should be seen and not heard anyway.  * MasemJMouse can see wooj right now - esp with his little tent :-)

* Captain approaches Wooj in #teenseqs. "Want some candy, little boy?"  <WakkoJr> Only if you promise to molest me!

<WakkyMouse> Speaking of spooj, I saw Ghostbusters II today, and that positive slime stuff they were carrying around toward the end looks way too much like human semen....

* ShanieDyQatt almost typed /me hides in a corner to avoid flying fucks.

<LisaSimpson> Hi, honey! How was the nuclear disaster?  <Captain> It was great!  Er...

<Wooj> Yes.  I'm a magical mystery Wooj.  <WakkoKitty> magical my ass

<Wakko> dalvenjah only posts to dalnet@ when he wants to show everyone how long his dick is..

<Wakko> I'd buy a teeshirt with dalvenjah's picture on it, but it'd be just one giant, 34-foot penis..  <Wakko> it'd have a little felt scrotum hanging off the front of it.. you could put your wallet in it..

<Wakko> you've never ridden a dog before?

<{LA-SHA}> captain.....try putting these on your nick ` it shouldnt kill u then

<MasemJMouse> "Cap, it seems that you have something to say..." "Indeed I do...<monotonous> I must return to my own planet."

<Mintaka> "New Glade Plug-ins, in new fresh **** scent!  Plug it in, plug it in!"

* WoojPuppy is a gay homosexual, you know

<MasemJMouse> Daphne about as sexy as a wet sock  <Zeeker> Daphne...The geek?  <Rabbid> No, the one that allways dissapeared with Freddy

<Zeeker> <pooh> Show me the honey!

<Skippy> <Yakko> I'm Yakko! <Wakko> I'm Wakko <Kenny> Mmmm mm mmm mmph MMPH! <Wakko> THATS NASTY! <Yakko> How would YOU know?

* WakkoJr rolls around on the ground and gets himself off instead of chasing waq

<KinkyTurtle> <Lisa> Hi, Milhouse!  * Milhouse harfs.  <Lisa> Ewwww!

* Qartman needs to get off for a little bit....eye strain  <Captain> Qartie been lookin' at Playboy too long?

<Qartman> <9th season Lisa> Mom, why does Bart have a penis and I don't? * LisaSimpson knows darn well why she has a penis and Bart doesn't!

<DolphinDave> I'm not a freak.

* Brendan remembers the Apocalypso party at Caltech: Island rhythms in the post-nuclear era!

<GrapeyWakko> cummi bears.. wanking here and there and everywhere

* WakkoJr liked the Perry Mason title opening, where Perry would take the case, look at it, and get this grin on his face like someone slipped him some spooge

<MollyMouse> I sense I might be forced into prostitution.  <MollyMouse> or, I could get a job at McDonalds. Same thing, basically.

* WakkoJr used to look up Barbie's dress and look inside Ken's pants

* Yakko learns ventriloquism and makes richard say things like `yiff!' and `ford sucks golf balls' all the time.

* SickFanfictionMousie doesn't try to look at all the flashing lights and neon signs surrounding WJ's crotch that say "LOOK HERE"

<LisaOfNine> You snog efficiently for an organic.

* Captain cuddles the hot Borg chick.  <LisaOfNine> Heat is irrelevant. Chickens are irrelevant. You will be cuddled.  <Captain> Chickens are not either irrelevant!  AAMOF, I've got one now that's dying to be choked...

<RichardFox> Sorta milklike, only creamy and thicker.

<RichardFox> <MikeOkuda> Hi, honey!  I bought that multiphasic pubogenitalic stimulator you ordered!  <DeniseOkuda> The what?  <Mike> *sigh* The vibrator, dear...

<DolphinDave> Teddy Ruxpin is satanic. He runs a cult.

<Captain> <BartSimpson> Stan, what the hell is your dog doing to Santa's Little Helper?!?

<Qartman> <BigGayAl> Smithers! It's so thuper to see you! 

<Captain> "Go, go, Gadget penis!"

* MasemJMouse jumps in WJ's pants.  * MasemJMouse pays WJ about $500/mnth + utilities in there.  <CapSquirrel> IDWK about what kind of utilities you're using in Wooj's pants, Mas.

<PlinkoTheOpBot> I am Plinko the Op Bot.  To access my commands, type alt-f4.

<Zeeker> I can't afford Prozac, how about amaturezac?

* Brendan likes going to work now...  It's like some sort of twisted game...  <Wakko> like dwarf tossing, brendan?  <Wakko> or cockfighting?

<WakkoJr> Her's is bigger than mine :/

<Wakko> Neu thinks a vulva is a SWEDISH CAR!

<Wakko> you put your weej in it

* Mark_Bunny sticks a nuclear device up sqips anal hole

<Brendan> Batman 5's working title is Batman Sucks.

* ShanieDyQatt gets all anal over the Mac

<ShanieDyQatt> I push all their buttons and I can't turn 'em on.

<ShanieDyQatt> "If God didn't want me to eat it, why the hell does it look like a taco?"

<WakkoJr> I tend to wear somewhat big clothes so that people don't really see how tiny I am.

<Yooka[CB]> too many people kept escaping out my ass.

<Tapermouse> Smokey's tough, and he's wild, and he has that shovel.  You ever notice there's never any dirt on that shovel?  It ain't for digging...

* RichardFox has... dunno how big it is. Hang on...

<Taperlass> "When Animals Fuck", next on FOX.

<Baz> This is not a fart exchange.  Please take your fart back.

* Taperlass introduces MiSTie Ruxpin.  He watches TV shows with you and makes smartass comments, so you don't have to!

<Skippy> Whats up with that transport the intel garbagebag ppl use? It looks like a dildo mobile.

<Mintaka> Vakko:  To the Egyptians, that wasn't Orion's BELT those three stars represented..

<Vakkotaur> Riding with Death?  Sounds like a drive with Richard at the wheel...

<Qartman> I'm not fat!  I'm big boned!  <Captain> John Dillinger was big boned.  You're just a big fatass.

<MollyMouse> "A gun is a recreational tool, like a golf club or a tennis racket. You can kill someone with a golf club, you know."  -Martel Lovelace, NRA official.

<runt-abu> ACH LAG BEASTIE HAS MEEEEEEEEEeeeeee.e........

<Lupin> Take the last train to clarksville and i'll weej you at the station

<MollyMouse> I can't understand this, at all. Baywatch, when translated in Spanish, is called, "The magic sand car"

<WakkoJr> she apparently wasn't exceptionally necessary.  Otherwise we'd have seen her head.

*** WakkoJr has quit IRC (I've got a headache this big and it has Fox Legal written all over it.)

<Bugzy> Ebay's pretty weird sometimes.  People auction strange things. <MasemJMouse> "My used condoms - starting bid, $5"

<Lupin> Every potty was doo doo fighting...  Pee was flowing like lightning.. In fact it was a little bit frightning.. Feces flying with expert timing.

<JeffH> mmm, haggis and milk.  Whotta snack...

#watertower Got Milk? Skippy & Masem are here to help.  <I_GrUB_COCK> When I grub cock, I get milk....

* TrudysCousin has a hedgehog in his lap again. :)  <Taper> Interesting euphanism....

<Yakko> `Dear Santla.. I want the ability to draw spooj.. Love, woojspooj' <WakkoJr> "Dear Santa, I want the ability TO spooj... Love, woojspooj"

<Yakko> * Santa gives wooj this book.. _The Joy od Spooj_ <Yakko> or, _Spoojin' to the oldies_  <Captain> Wooj lookin' at Estelle Getty nudes?

<RichardFox> I'll take it, Sly... <SylvesterFox> It's long. <RichardFox> I like it long.

* WoojerHanson plays his own instrument

* MasemJMouse is going to go ice up a reaction, then head for home.  <Captain> Meesy taking a cold shower?

* WoojKitty hasn't measured it in a while

<WoojKitty> I AM NOT FOR MILKING

<Wakko> marilyn hanson.. "<weirdass whispering sound>mmmmbaaaaaahp!! <scratching noises, guitar>"

<Warner_X2> it was clear sticky fluid... but it wasn't drool...

<WakkoJr> <Pooh> I'll go see if Rabbitt has some of the....sticky stuff.

*** DolphinDave is now known as DolphinDave-  <Captain> Uh-oh, Dave's got something sticking up...

<WakkoJr> In and out...in and ooout...that's what intercourse is -- all about.

<Skippy> If Ronald & Wendy did it, What would thier child look like and what would its burger chain be called?  <WakkoKitty> mcSlut  <Skippy> McSluts Slogan: We'll do ya your way.

<Skippy> McSlut's "I'd like a Slutburger, slutfries & a slutshake." "My kinds wants a sluttymeal with the vibrating toy"  <WakkoKitty> mcsluts' special sauce..... ydwk

<WakkoJr> sheesh...a lump of moody meat gets so much attention.  <Captain> That would make a vagina... a mood ring?

* Baz beats Shanie with his stick.  * Yakko sees baz get arrested for assault with a small weapon.

* Yakkette WANTS dimitri. Like, relaly wants him. like, I'm gonna marry john cusack and draw him all day.

* Captain gives Shanie a Win95-compliant vibrator.  <ShanieDyQatt> It better be Plug-n-Play, Cap!

<Brendan> Heh, I love how Microsoft products always emphasize "Preparing to use Microsoft ______ for the first time..."  Like the computer has a huge mental hangup about losing its Microsoft virginity...

<Evets> land before time 5? hell they should be up to time now.

<Captain> Peppermint Patty's a lesbian, btw.  <SchroederWooj> Marcie's her lover, natch. <SchroederWooj> <Patty> Mind if I call you sir in bed?

*** Mintaka has quit IRC (Connection reset by player)

* ShanieDyQatt randomly ricochets off people's heads and mewfs loudly <ShanieDyQatt> NO NOT THOSE HEADS

<Skippy> "I heard you're the smartest person on Earth" (snobbish reply) " Ya....., I am." "OK then, I'd like to give you a quick test."  "*snort* OK"  *Throws smartguy off a cliff "Are ya smart enough to fly MotherF*r?"

* Wakko has a parody he made up in Australia for "Come On Eileen".. "(there's) Come on Eileen / It's all over her jeans / and her panties / it's on eeeeeeverythiiiing / spots on her dress / and her face is a mess / there's come on... / there's come ooooon eileeeeeen..."

<Wakko> "Mom, we're all gonna go downstairs and fuck.." "Okay, just remember to wash the sheets!"

* WakkoJr is away - grumble...fucking mom - Messages will be arrested for peeping. 

* Wakko smacks his bitch up

* Wakko has a dong named ruff that he beats

<RichardFox> Set up machine gun nests by the door.  <Bugzy> Aw, nests for the machine guns to raise their cute young. . . that is so cute and practical and cute!

* Captain starts small.

* Vakkotaur wonders if there's a Ping river and when it may have flooded.

<Zeeker> fsr I remember an old Superman comic book where Supes battled an alien who turned out to be vulerable to...Krypton Gas  <WakkyMouse> Supes farted on him?

<WakkyMouse> -DickServ- Dalvenjah told me he doesn't like you. Bend over.

<Yakko> -DickServ- Vaseline required for that command. Please /msg DickServ lubeme

<Captain> -DickServ- Signon detected for MonicaLewinsky.

<Yakko> -DickServ- Blow me.

<Eternal_> -DickServ- Try me...you'll like me.  $100/min

<Qartman> -DickServ- Access denied.  Please remove condom.

<__Yallp> -DickServ- Woah, yours is bigger than mine!

* DickServ hugs wooj btw

<Yakko> *** Signoff: Qartman (Killed (DickServ (you forgot the vaseline, assmaster..)))

<Yakko> *** Signoff: Qartman (Killed (DickServ (.. and here's the NEW kind of anal probe..)))

*** DickServ has quit IRC (Killed (Yakko (Say hello to Lorena Bobbit...)))

* ShanieDyQatt castrates DickServ

<Captain> Somehow I don't think "ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD!" is what they really said. <WakkoJr> No they said "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!"

"Minnie Mouse cut the cheese."

<MasemJMouse> "It's coming right for us!"  <Yakko> better than `coming right on us!'

<Yiffynose> of course, it would be kind of a pain, to be trying to get something done, like grocery shopping, and then all the sudden have an orgasm.

<RichardFox> "Stealth Condoms:  They'll Never See You Coming!"  (A real product, and its real motto.)  <Captain> What are those, Rich?  Condoms with vanishing cream for lubricant?  <WakkoJr> Vanishing cream isn't terribly appreciated around that area..  <Justin> Vanishing cream? Sounds like the EFFECT of a contraceptive

<Zeeker> <Minerva> why would I want to take over the world? <Brain> Free clothes <Minerva> I'll do it...

<Zeeker> Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and shit is from Uranus

* Yakkette gets laid pretty damn often- er, oops. Toom uch info.

* WakkyMouse player thinks he has naf eyes...even managed to--this is scary--get a twing of horniness looking at himself one day.  * RichardFox sets Wakky up on a date with his hand.

*** KerryAnne (fred@port21.qldnet.com.au) has joined #watertower  <Captain> Kerry is so verry...  <Qartman> manly? 

#amiga The total intelligence of this planet is constant. The population grows

<Sheejan> It's amazing what a vibrator can do. <Trixi> mmmm...pagers...

* Lupin went to spencer's gifts to look at the muscle massager... but they were all shaped like PENISES!

<Lupin> They had a keyboard there with a BROKEN KEY... <Zeeker> hmm, what's the point of having a "Broken" key? <WakkoKitty> so you can run win95, zeek

* Pokernose sighs. it was all a lie, when they told us in 6th grade that eventually the boys would mature.

"When in doubt, REM it out!"

<Zeeker> "Vidi, Vedi, Velveeta"  I came, I saw, I cut the cheese

<WakkoJr> "There can only be one!"  <Taper> Aw, thanks.

<Captain> * DolphinDave drinks like a fish.

<MikoSqueerel> Ack, I think I have dildo fever.

<Eternal_> -NickServ- WakkyMouse horny

* Wakko marvels at just how kickass this pooter is now.. "It does everything but fellate the user.. And I'm working on that.."

* ShanieDyBobbitt runs in with a machete, screaming.  * ShanieDyBobbitt comes screaming after EF.  * Eternal_ coldcocks Shanie  * ShanieDyBobbitt lops it off.

* Eternal_ goofs all over Wakky

<Nakko> "You're one a'them gay faggets!" "A happy bundle of sticks?" "I bet you're a homosexual on top of that, even."

<Captain> <PamelaAnderson> Life in plastic, it's fantastic! <Eternal_> no, Cap, that's Michael Jackson.

"A day without sunshine is like... night."

<Justin> FOR FREE PR0N GO FUCK YOURSELF... AND FILM IT!

<WakkoJr> Woojer it's your birthday.  God bless you this day.  I wish you better than your heart desires.  And you're first kiss from a boy... er, wait..

* WakkoJr tooq a bath a few months ago, the first in six years. Decided not to do that anymore.

<Brendan> *Justin* bah. You didn't say how long you'd be, so I didn't know if I should go down or not

* WakkyMouse notes that the Play-By-Play wakko is about the size of a newborn... I've had to fight the urge to let him "nurse" (which is impossible, since I'm male :)...

* WakkoJr ponders TR underwear where right on the inside of the crotch TR waves and says "Hi!  Can You And I Be Friends?"

<WakkoJr> I wish I had a custom-made female suit that could lactate

<Brendan> <God> I have a gift for all my children... Bend over...

* Mintaka wants it, Natte!

<WakkoJr> P00PIN WITH L00PIN. <Taperlass> Tonight on FOX.

<WakkoJr> Jimmy crack whore and I don't care, Jimmy crack whore, er wait..

* WakkyMouse guards his genitals jealously!

<Bugzy> <Mulder> Scully, I think you're an alien, and that's why you always say that all the crazy shit I come up with isn't true.  <Scully> Mulder, that's ridiculous.  <Mulder> Aha- proof!  proof!

<Wakko> if you wanna know.. if he's doing blow.. it's in his piss <Wakko> that's where it is

<Captain> An Animania held at Wakko's would be called the Boston Pee Party.

<Vexx> Kind of stiff, isn't it?

<HubCity> It's just a harmless roaming nipple... 

* WakkoMinq has his "anal mouse trap underwear" on

<WakkyMouse> babies btw LOVE to suck...they get offon it..

* WakkoJr swallows it.

* Slakko yanqs wakkytail * Slakko thinqs wakky should dispense Pez or something when you yanq his tail  * WakkyMouse dispenses PEEPSK!  * Slakko DWK where THAT qomes from  <Wakki> brown pez

* WakkoJr must get up AGAIN.

* Yakko gonna try to connect to turd.net <Slakko> you mean microsoft.com? 

<WakkoMinq> if he doesnt show up i'll have to QOQ HIS ASS

<WakkoJr> P is for Penis and that's good enough for me...

* HFBWakky bouncy  <HFBWakky> ...cuase Wakkyplayer daydreaming of Suzanne  <WakkoMinq> HFB stands for HUGE FREAKIN BONER

<TettieKitty> Wooj, you'd maqe even Freud smile, and you wouldnt even be trying..

* WakkyMouse what Sailor Penus looks like, anyways. <WakkoJr> I guess someone dressed like a sailor, except with a diq for a head, and two eyeballs and a mouth  <Captain> You mean it'd look like Dalvenjah, WJ?

<WakkyMouse> <Wakko> I'm a loser baby, so why don't you BITEME..

<Taperlass> Welcome to the Hotel #watertower.

<Qartman> OK, lets all sing "Jennifer Crittenden is a big fat bitch" in D-minor

*** Brendan has quit IRC (Next on James Cameron's Wide World of Sports:  Oscar Bowling!)

* Captain watches Wakky's penis grow arms and legs and a face. "Howwwwwdy-ho, Wakky!"  <MasemJMouse> MR. WANKEY!  <Captain> <MrWankey> Howdy, Wakky!  You look kinda sad.  Why don't you come play with me?

* WakkyMouse wishes his penis weren't so damn morfy

<Wooj> kate winslet MY babe, not yours :P  * Wooj has exclusive wank priviledges with her...er...

* DolphinDave needs to get laid now.  * Lupin lays dee  <DolphinDave> No, Loopy. You are too young. I will go to jail and be on the news.

*** Mintaka has quit IRC (Quit: "Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you...")  <WakkoJr> Taka sure is fresh in his dreams.

<ShanieTheep> *** Kristen has quit IRC (Quit: "I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but I just can't get my head that far up my ass.")

<Wakko> Uranus has no atmosphere..  <Wakko> Myanus has a naf one though, smells like spring flowers..

* Brendan was attempting to save time by multitasking this morning, and the dishwasher and shower applications just attempted to utilize the hot water resource simultaneously, and locked the system up.

<WakkoKitty> Subscribe to new group alt.binaries.erotica.beanie-babies (y/n/q) [n]:

<Yakko> Eat shit -- billions of flies can't be wrong.

* Skippy poses a "what if" question... What If Jesus was George Carlin <Skippy> See this Bread? This is MY ASS! Ifg ya wanna get into heaven, hey, You're just gonna have to BITE MY ASS!

<WakkoJr> bah bah bah, you won't yiff me, I won't yiff you...

*** LisaSimpson has quit IRC (Good grief, there's a tripod in my bed!)  * Captain blushes.

<Wakko> DYQATT TEAM: "Mewf! There it is!"

<SheilaWarner> heh. Just mumbling to myself, while doing perl. <Egg> Who's Perl?

<QattIsTheHatt> Oh, my GODS. . .  <QattIsTheHatt> Oh, my *GODS*  <QapQat> Shanie wanking?

* WakkyMouse has found that upright Hoovers don't have all that much suction, fwiw

*** DykeVader has quit IRC (The spooge is strong in this one.)

* DykeVader ignites the lightdildo and uses it on Wakko.  * GrapeyWakko bites it and breaqs it  <DykeVader> NIDNTS!  <DykeVader> There will be NO BREAKING OF MY PHALLIC ILLUMINATION

<DykeVader> Blee, Taka, it's twice the size of mine :P

<Mr_Fu> You leave my stuff alone!  <Eternal_> I thought you said I could touch!

* WakkyMouse baptizes himself with pee

* Wakko is running °0¸ VIAGRA ¸0° ThE ScRiPt ThAt GiVeS YoU WoOd.

* LisaSimpson isn't that kind of toon.

* WakkyMouse has not really had sex with anyone but himself..

<KinkyTurtle> ooo hey me producin' a moofie! a Biblical epic even! <KinkyTurtle> the story of Judas's betrayal of Jesus. It'll be filmed in a style me call epic noir & the title is "I Know What Thou Didst Last Supper."

* Captain sends Justin a copy of JRR Tolkien's "The Uncensored Hobbit", where Mr. Baggins' first name isn't Bilbo...  <WakkyMouse> Ummmm...DILDO Baggins?!??!?

* WakkyMouse put it in last night :)  <Captain> Does Wakkanne know about this, Wakky?  <WakkyMouse> Yeah..  * WakkyMouse re-reads his screen...BAH QAP

* Black-Dove_January once picked up a popped balloon in the library atrium at Simon's Rock, went, "HEY! I wonder if you could use it as a dental dam?"  * Black-Dove_January then held it to her face and proceeded to test that theory.

<Justin> you gotta keep those female condoms away from the male ones, or before you know it...baby condoms everywhere  <Baron> then the male and female condom need more room, so they move from an apartment to a condominium.

<WakkoJr> Everynight in my dreams, I see you, I fart on you, that is how I know I...have gas. Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that my fart will go on..."

<Wakko> i can compile shit fine too..  <Yakko> gcc -o shit shit.c  <WakkyMouse> peepsk# ./shit

<Yakko> an expanding organ? diwk??

<Varro> How DID Richie Rich die, anyway?  <Taperlass> Tried to do that Scrooge McDuck diving into the money bin thing and broke his neck.  It's sad, really.

<MasemJMouse> Oh my god, there's a commerical for Viagra, and the doctor in it LOOKS LIKE BILL GATES!!  <NeuCoyote> Does he have a problem 'booting his system'?  <Baz> Fixes the "micro soft" problem.

<Captain> So, Taka, after you turn this paper in, you gonna moon her?  <Lupin> qa will flash his monsterous trouser snake  <Cornflake_Girl> Um, garter snakes aren't monstrous, Loopy

* Taperlass thought bitey breasts were scary.  Fascist panties are scarier.  <Mintaka> Nazi panties!  "NO PUSSY FOR YOU!"

* Taperlass 's band is Wax on the Water, anyway.  <Mintaka> Wax on the Water?  <Mintaka> (...and candles in the sky?)

* Yakko 's ass is CLOSED to the public.

* WakkyMouse has no trouble getting it up.

* Yakko inserts wooj into /etc/yiff.deny, along with masem  * WakkyMouse thinks . o O [yakko 18:59:42: yiff_wrappers: intrusion attempt on port REAR]  <Yakko> buttplugd[69]: refused connect from masem

<Taperlass> One wants Unix Sysadmin Barbie... <Taperlass> Comes with her own SparcStation.

* WorqWakky sucks on it for hours

<Black-Dove_January> Wee. . . it's qold in my room. . . my nipples tell me so

* Weirdguy wants it

<Justin> *Tetragon* You prolly want to get off yakko and onto tettie..

* Cornflake_Girl has been told she has the biggest nipples in the free world  <Brendan> Communist nipples are of course much larger and built of reinforced concrete with huge bas reliefs of Lenin.

<Justin> Seth said "Oh, I'll prove it all right!" and cast one of the most dreaded spells in all the arsenal of the Egyptian wizard:  <Justin> SUMMON SPERM

<PickleWooj> "Nothing's right meesy's torn...he's all out of fur...this is how he feels...he's cold and he's ashamed, lying naked on the floor.  Spooge art never changes into something real...he's wide awake and he can see the perfect girl is torn"

<Eternal> I feel the need, THE NEED TO MP3!

<Brendan> Viagara Falls  <Weirdguy> that's where impotent couples go for their honeymoon, brendan

<Wakko> "She farts like a man, but she's always a woman to me.." - rejected Billy Joel line.

<Wakko> "Last night I had the strangest dream / I sailed away on to China / Some chick named Gwen washed my vagina. . . "

`So a lot of horses come up to me and they says, "Hey Ed!  Nice cock!"  So I says to them I says, "Thanks, suck it you fucks!" and they're all like "What an asshole!"  But what do you expect?  My cock is huge and I know it.'

* Hypnonose boobs do not engage in combat.

* Taperlass hears meows from the living room. She thinks they're wuffie. * Tony_Fox blinks. "Wuffie's obviously not telling us something."

* MasemJMouse sends Dave to Dr. Katz. <Captain> <DrKatz> So, do you ever imagine that you're a fish?

<MasemJMouse> "hI, wELcoMe to BiG gAy TorGO's BiG Gay BOaT riDE!"

<Skippy> <TeddyRuxpin> Hi! I'm Teddy Ruxpin, please insert the Marylin Manson tape now.

* Varro gets ready to be hosed by Taper.

<Eternal> * Wakky falls off the Earth. <Wakky> DAMMIT

* Tetbat ponders why Satan would need money, anyway?? <WakkoJr> hey, he's got gas bills to pay y'know... <Varro> All he'd need to do is wait for Terrence & Philip to die, and then he'd have all the gas he'd need.

<Natte> wow, it's bigger'n I thought it would be.

<Skippy> <BillGates> Hey wait, This isnt a new OS. This is an Illegal copy of windows with "MyOS" scribbled on the CD, You stole it! <LilKid> B..b..but I learned by watching you!

<Kathalla> Go go gadget vibrator!

* WakkoJr wonders if Scrooge ever skinny dipped in the money bin when the boys were asleep.

<Taperlass> The great thing about going to hell is that you'll meet all your friends there.

<WakkoBat> king wenis rules. <WakkoBat> or, well, he did.  <WakkoJr> King Wenis...what a diq.

* WakkyMouse is one of those people that knows a lot bout vaginas without ver having seen one

<Weirdguy> first canada stamp had a beaver on it * Weirdguy sends that stamp to shanie, i hear you like licking beavers

<Freakkoon> "my gf can't wrestle, but you should see her box!"

<Taperlass> Ruxpin98.  "Hi!  I'm Teddy Ruxpin.  Can you and I be friends?  Please insert the second CD and press enter to continue."

<ChrisC> this is my schlong that doesn't end... <ChrisC> yes it goes on and on my friend <ChrisC> some people <ChrisC> started stroking it not knowing what it was <ChrisC> and they'll qontinue stroking it forever just because this is my schlong that doesn't end...

* Baz poqes Taperboobs * Taperlass swats ronbar's hands. <Taperlass> Don't do that. They might get hungry.

<Pokernose> <AustinPowers> Captain Janeway is a maaaaaaan, baybeee

<Wakko> the Fuckin river.. no, those aren't whitecaps

<Wakko> "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad <Wakko> "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler

* Skippy has a talking penis alarm. *chirp-chirp* "SYSTEM ARMED" *chirp* "PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE PENIS"

* WakkyMouse gets the rocket to Planet Motherfucker ready for the OFF staff.

<DannyCat> <Troi> I sense hostility. <Worf> (muttering) Duhhh...

<Tettie> GREASYGUYS! <Wakko> where?!?!?

<MasemJMouse> Gah, why is Norte Dame *soooo* important. <DustyFox> because they have a Hunchback

* Captain puts a bag over treerat's head and calls him Ugly Skip fnar.  * Skippy claims he's handsome skip * Skippy gets chiqs that way  <Skippy> <Cap>Goddamn you're ugly skip *take bag off* <Celine Dion> Ahhhh! You told me you were Handsome Skip

*** Death has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

<Taperlass> "The world looks mighty good to me, 'cause Ami-chan is all I see! Whatever it is I think I see, looks like Sailor Mercury!"

<JaqRabbit> <Alien> I must have sex to survive! <Kirk> Spock.. beam back to the ship. I'll.. handle this one.. myself.

<WakkyMouse> You'd be surprised. All this stuff you tease me about here, I get teased about iRL, at work.

<TaperIndigoDogcow> A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. <TaperIndigoDogcow> A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

<Chris> Earth is a great, big funhouse, without the fun.

<DustyFox> "chicken rings" - What part of the chicken is that? Chicken assholes?

* Chris puts a flaming cucumber in Baz <CapRaccoon> Interesting euphamism.

<IndigoDyQatt> Two ky00t grrls asked me if I had extra cigarettes on my way down to the lab . . . how could I refuse? <Skippy> Imagine them in thier underwear......no wait

<Skippy> <Wakky> Lets spooge on `em! <Masem> RIGHT!

* DolphinPikachu is UNFISHABLE <CapRaccoon> They said the Titanic was UNSINKABLE, and we all know what happened there...

-DolphinPikachu- I'll take "CTCP commands" for 500, Alex. <AlexTrebec> This person has just pinged you. <DolphinDave> Who is Captain. <AlexTrebec> Correct, for 500, pick again.

<Baz> ponder: NT is a whore - it goes down a lot and costs a lot

<MasemJFox> Dunno if you were up, or if you would even feel it.

<Skippy> <R2> blip bloop bap, motherfucker

* SKippy is BACK. I was at the store buying stuff and I saw this chick with real big b(. )( .)bs and I thought "I'M MISSING VOYAGER!".

* Kette btw, works for the davis democratic HQ  <Baz> Are you an intern there? :)

* Kette wants to go down under..(not under THERE tho)

* Kette whines  * Kette NEEDS it.  * Baz gives it to Kette!  <Kette> woooooo

<Kette> THOSE PONGS ARE EVIL CAP

<MasemJFox> "Wouldn't it be great if you were at a party, and there were BOOBS?! Great BOOBS, Like Lisa's?"

<Kette> btw, all baseball suqs my qoq  * Kette has explained this before, it's just a saying. I COULD be very crude and say 'chew my clit', but I think taht's gross. "suq my qoq" is more polite.

<Zeeker> THE INTERNET HAS BEEN DETECTED BY SCANDISK...DELETE? Y/N

<Lupin> <BobCostas> Could you please excuse my while I wank in my private bathroom? Oh, and can I borrow that yankees yearbook?

<Tettie> * Wakkymouse is away - Automatically set away - Looking for the KY, HD, and my pillow. Messages will be yiffed.

<Baz> "THREE WORD ATTACK!"

<Eternal> horns ROQ! Don't be putting down us horn players! <IndigoDyQatt> Um, a skin flute isn't a HORN

<WakkyMouse> <MasemJMouse> sex with snack foods is a first sign of puberty  * ChrisC yiffs a twinqy  <ChrisC> "HEY! Where's the cream filling?" <ChrisC> "oooo.. there it is"

<DolphinDave> I'm going to go to his workplace tomorrow and put the fear of God into him. <MasemJFox> Dave named his penis "Fear of God"

<MikoSqueerel> Dave needs yiffs. <MasemJFox> "Could you, would you, with a fox? Could you, would you, in a box?"

* DolphinDave needs a Linux box. <Tetragon> Hmm, a vagina that's posix compliant??

<DustyFox> What is MC Hammer up to these days? Sweeping floors? Really? With Vanilla Ice? Daaaamn talk about hitting rock bottom..I'd never work with Vanilla Ice.

<DustyFox> <SpaceShuttle> OK, there's the great wall of china....great lakes....Whoa! Kette has a really big ass!

<Tettie> Darth Gates: Now Princess, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base. Princess Torvalds: Chew me you geeky saq of shit..

* ChrisCat read that as <Freakkoon> blee, erections coming up

<Taperlass> "Venus Love-Me Whip and Chain!"

* Skippy saw pics of Teletubbies today and thought "Spice girls shoulda got abortions"

* Skippy gets possessed by the spirit of Confucious and says: Man who suck woman cock need check glasses.

<MikoSqueerel> <Lisa> We should be more than meaningless catchphrases. * MasemJMouse yiffs Wakky <DolphinDave> blee * Wakko bitey as hell <Wooj> YSM <MikoSqueerel> PENISES! * Baz poots <Lisa> If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.

<MasemJMouse> "If you neuter, they won't cum"

<Vakkotaur> "Do you read my mind?" "No, I'm not into short stories."

<TetWarner> Wakky; Its not the size, its the speed..

<Freaqaqabra> Jacen and Jaina, the Jedi twins?? <WakkyMouse> "Jedi Twin powers, ACTIVATE!!!"

<RichardFox> "In 1930, three animated rascals were locked up in a water tower for a crime that they didn't commit. They promptly escaped, and now survive in the Los Angeles underground. Still wanted by the studio, they make a living as soldiers of fortune. If you're in trouble... if you need help... and if you can find them... (and if you don't mind anvils)... you might need... the A! Team."

<Eternal> hehehe..."Pleasantville" on Daily Show: When people of color move into the neighborhood and cause trouble.

<Justin> Baby Baby, it looks like it's going to Hell!

<Minkie> Exploring Wakky! ("The Masem Book") <Minkie> new from O'Reilly & Assoc.

<CrackBaby> Yes, Alex, I'd like "things that only I know for 1000"

<CapRaccoon> <SailorSmish> In the name of Miami, I'll yiff you!

<MasemJMouse> "You're watching WANK! Take your pants off and stay a while!"

<Taperlass> "Iron Man, Iron Man, does whatever an iron can, presses pants, any size, flattens crooks, just like ties, look out.. here comes the Iron Man..."

<Brendan> (Cool local acronym story: WPPSS, the Washington Public Power Supply System, a nuclear power network in WA, didn't like its name because it was pronounced "Whoops". So they held a poll to find a new name...) <Brendan> (The winner with 30% of the vote was Columbia River Atomic Power)

*** FreakaCivet has quit IRC (<TheDick> SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!)

<Taperlass> "Out of the mouths of babes come words of wisdom." "Could you rub some suntan oil on my back?"

<Justin> bbl. Wanna give Beth my full attention <Minkie> Justin named his penis "full attetntion"?

<MasemJMouse> SPICE SPICE BABY

<CapRaccoon> "Coming soon, a Ken Starr film -- I Know Who You Did Last Summer" <Wakko> that film's gonna blow

<Skippy> WTH is Yoohoo anyway? Gay chocolate milk? * Skippy imagines a surge-style Yoohoo commercial: Some guy places a Yoohoo on top of a hill and scream "YOOOHOOO!". Gays guys come running out of salons (they run like girls *swish swish swish*) and they start bitch-slap fighting over the bottle.

<Skippy> <PapaSmurf> What are you doing FisherSmurf? *Fisher tosses a stick of Dynamite into the pond* <Fisher> Hi Papa Smurf! Today we are fishing for Snorks. *BOOOOOM! stunned Snorks float to the surface and are swept up by a net* <PapaSmurf> Well done my little Smurf! Tonight we feast on meat! No more goddamn smurfin smurfberries.

<Lupin> Hold close a little longer. Shaft her a little longer. Shove in a little longer, longer with big head. <Lupin> Make her moan a little longer, make her groan a little longer, orgasms last a little longer... <Lupin> with big head!

<Brendan> "Your pants betray you, Luke."

<Brendan> "Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!"

<Brendan> "These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it."

<Minkie> Is that lag in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?

<Brendan> <Saddam> Does this bother you? I'm not touching you. Does this bother you? I'm not touching you. Does this bother you? I'm not touching you. *whack* DAMN! SOMEONE'S in a pissy mood today.

<WakkoJr> "Can't we all just rub a schlong?"

*** Tettie has quit IRC (Ping timeout) *** Wakko has quit IRC (Ping timeout) <CapRaccoon> Man, those two do *everything* together.

<Wakko> the new McDonald's McBeal -- it's just a bun, with nothing on it

<Furrball> ( a shark bites Masem ) <Shark> HEY! Where's the cream fill--oh. Oh my god.

* Skippy wants to write a furby virus. You program one to randomly start shouting obscenities (call it Furbrettes Syndrome). Any furby it comes in contact with will learn Furbrettes.

<Varro> <BobDole> BobDole can get it up now! BobDole WOULD have had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky, and would give her repeated orgasms! That's what BobDole would do! No cigars here!

<Skippy> Yeah..gotta watch out for those nasty gay ppl. If you get too close they zap you by emitting gaydiation and the next thing you know Disco sounds cool.

<Bugzy> That reminds me, time to scout ebay for penises.

*** Now talking in #SailorMoon *** Topic is '<Vampyre_D> Are you retarded? <SAYAYIN> no i am from argentina'

<DolphinDave> mmmm, fish

<Varro> <MonicaLewinsky> If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.

* Tettie guesses Masem plays the skin-flute in a Jizz band..

<ChrisSqunq> Customer: "I'm running Windows '98" Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer is broken now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."

<Mintaka> <BazVader> Join me, Luke. We shall orgy against the Emperor and then rule all the pr0n in the galaxy. It is your dessssssstiny.

<Eternal> BOOZE: BEST USED BEFORE - THE WIFE GETS HOME

<WakkoJr> "Could you shut the window over there? My nipples could cut glass right now."

<Freakkoon> <ElmyraGwen> This is the way we wash our cunt, wash our cunt, wash our cunt

<Freakkoon> "Right now Masem wishes he were yiffing." <- The line Van Halen forgot to put in

<Bugzy> Earlier we had Dr. Mengele's Shit Flavored Soda <Freakkoon> Bugzy, you mean Pepsi One?

<Skippy> <Mr.T> Dial 10-10-666! You wont save shit but it'll make *my* ass rich. Start dailing fool!

<Furrball> Man, golf is such a shit easy game. <Furrball> I always get high scores. Very high scores.

* WakkyMouse would want warm and sexy sex. * WakkoJr has sex with wakky in front of an oven.

* Qette qute ho

<Justin> Mintaka and Wakky both wanted it so I figured I'd do it publically

<Glis> When I get it in, I'll let you know what I think of it.

* Freakkoon notices that WHATEVER you stick in a Furby's mouth it'll say "Yum" about

<Bugzy> <Mulder>Scully, will you mar- <Scully>Oh, yes! <Mulder>-inate this steak for me?

<Tettie> Shatner just hasnt got enough braincells to act. The load in his brain gets too high, and he slows down, pausing in his sentenses..

* FreakArmadillo puts a "fuck me" sign on his back

<DolphinDave> Wanking is about letting off a little steam. <Freakkoon> It's white, but I don't think it's steam :D

<Bugzy> <MoronTabernacleQuire>"He's got his whole schlong. . . In His Hand. . ."

<WakkyMouse> you eat chocolate and shit gold. someone tell me how to do that, I'd be a millionaire.

<Skippy> Linda Tripp's transport crashed in Roswell some years ago. She escaped only to be trapped on Earth unable to conteact friends and family on Planet Ugly.

<Furrball> "Killing me softly with his schlong... killing me soofftlyyy.. with his schlong..."

* Freakkoon read that as <CapRaccoon> How many kids became interested in sex after Lisa?

<Wakkette> wE'RE aLL gETTING fIRED tOMORROW, bEEY0TCH

<Wakkette> do you have any memories you don't know of? maybe ones that someone forgot to tell you?

<Skippy> Linda Tripp: Yeah, I got a guy in bed once during a high school field trip. All he did was sleep. After that I gave up on sex and opened my home to stray cats. A few years later I started my current hobby of being a shithead.

* Brendan waits for Godot. HURRY THE FUCK UP!

<Wakko> Vagisil. Vagistat. Anusol. WE NEED PENISIN.

<Wakko> i remember every song ever written, EVEN ONES NOT YET RECORDED!

<Taperlass> "Oh, the Time Lord is a person in your neighborhood..."

<MikoSqueerel> "Come on farty people, put your ass in the air, come on farty people, wave it like you don't care.."

<Freakkoon> Just call it a kilt :D <MikoSqueerel> A BLACK PVC KILT? <MikoSqueerel> The McKinky clan tartan? <Freakkoon> Aye, laddy.

* Skippy does that at work. *walks into Bosses offices and cuts a SBD* <Boss> What do you need? <Me> Oh nothing important, you loook busy so I'll come back later. Then he pages my extension and calls me a dirty bastard. >:)

<Lupin> Extra strength viagra: Something better just popped up.

<Eternal> <dentist> Does that hurt? <me> If I said yes, will you stop? <dentist> No. <me> Then bite me, denture man!

* CapHuskie has returned - Evil spirits -- BEGONE! DCC Send of ofuda.gif to Baron completed *** Baron has quit IRC (Client exited) <CapTiger> Wow, it works!

<Eternal> <Lisa> Prepare for trouble!  <Qap> And make it double!  <Lisa> To protect the world from devistation! <Qap> To unite all peoples within our nation!  <Lisa> To denounce the evils of truth and love! <Qap> To extend our reach to the stars above!  * Lisa ! * Qap ! <Lisa> Team Wildcat blasts off at the speed of light! <Qap> Surrender now or prepare to fight!  <Weej> Weej! That's right!

<Furrball> wooj needs a job wrestling large animals for food. <Furrball> elephants, rhinos, those bigass heavy turtles on the beach, Rosanne...

* Eternal wants to see a "Small Wonder" movie..."She's a hot bot, and she's back for her senior prom!"

* Kette personally isn't in to that! been there, done that, did nothing for me but give me a sore ass.

<WakkoJr> Kette had a Dolphin Encounter. <Varro> Just like Hank Hill did.

<DisGrace> All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

<DolphinDave> <Janeway> Seven, do what I tell you to. <SevenofNine> Fuck you, Captain. <Chakotay> This reminds me of an old legend... <Paris> Will you just cut it out with all that Indian bullshit?

<Skippy> *Lassie sniffs Marylin Manson's crotch* *whine, whinewhine* *dies*

<CapHuskie> they lost your luggage? <Baz> no, they had to offload some luggage from the puddle-jumper because they wanted to load up more fuel <DustyFox> This Chang, United airway. You Baz? You undahweah in Hong Kong. You come get.

<CapHuskie> <Aerosmish> Don't want to close my eyes, don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I couldn't yiff you, and I wanna yiff everything! <DolphinDave> WLAH

<WakkyMouse> grumblefuck.

<WorqTet> <Picard> I fought the Borg, and the Borg won..

<CapRaccoon> minq suqs <Minkie> If you ask nicely. =^_^=

<MikoSqueerel> "Uhura, please seduce that sailor and take his money." "We're in San Francisco, sir." "Oh, right. Mr.Chekov, please seduce that sailor and take his money."

<MostlyKette> dave has lousy taste in women. <DarthDolphin> If I have lousy taste in women then like, umm...

* Tetragon floods Wooj with Pokepr0n.. <Taperlass> Gotta spooge 'em all.

<Tetragon> <Kette> He Mr Jackson, can I get your autograph? * SLJ writes "Bad Mother Fucker"

* ShanieWarriorQatt takes it both ways, but not everyone does. But some people think everyone should.

<Mintaka> The Dow is falling! The Dow is falling!

<Furrball> World's Scariest Ugly People. <Furrball> "Oh my god, he's looking out the window... he sees us! Run!" <Furrball> <camera falls over and cuts off>

<Eternal> Fundies for Ulitmately Cleaner Kids, or F.U.C.K.

<Eternal> "And in case I don't see you, hello, goodbye, and fuck off. :D"

<Freakalari> shit, what's with all the sirens? <Varro> Police cars, bah. I wished they were ambulances.

* Taperlass writes a poignant and moving tale in very tight language about an aging programmer trying to finish a major software product... "One calls it, 'The Old Man and the C.'"

<Taperlass> "Oh, one so geeky, oh, one so geeky, oh, one so geeky, one hack a long time..."

<DustyFox> <Jar Jar> Oooo Whatsa this? *holds up a grenade* <Obi-Wan> Oh that. Ummm Thats a Jedi toy! Pull the pin and get a suprise, I'll be in the other room. <Jar Jar> That-sa neat! *BOOM* <Yoda> Worked well that plan did. Happy i am. Yes. hmmmmm...

<DustyFox> "Who is Anakin's father?" "He's a Starship Captain, James T. something... anyway he's not around anymore."

<Freakalari> All right, I really should get off now. <Freakalari> Umm, i mean, leave.

* Brendan thought of a cool cartoon idea... With two sperm sitting there, and one saying to the other, "You fucking retard! I *told* you we should have turned left back there!"

* Brendan wants to do a film noir short subject called "Peter Cox, Private Dick". All the characters would walk up to his stenciled door, and then have to leave right away because they can't keep from laughing hysterically.

*** Baron has been kicked off channel #Watertower by Wakki (Whoops! Accidently typed /kick # watertower baron and an explanation....damned butterfingers)

<WakkyMouse> hey, nothing wrong with a good wank.

<HubCity> Palpatine: "And you, young Skywalker. We will be watching your pants with great pleasure."

<WakkyMouse> um, wag the wakky? DIWK?

<MasemJMouse> what? me yiffy?!

<DolphinDave> Wedge becomes Luke's buddy after the trench run. <Baz> So to speak.

<Justin> "FIVE TIMES A DAY? I have a LIFE!" "Yes, that's how you GOT Genital Herpes, now strip naked and rub this on your meat"

<Tetragon> Rat Warner "I'm rancid!" "Didja smell me?" "Rabies? I get that all the time."

<WakkoJr> I'd rather eat out a toilet than eat at MickeyDs

<Furrball> "Your brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."

<Brendan> <Yoda> Strong in the force this one is. Make a good Jedi, he will... FOR ME TO POOP ON!!

<Brendan> So if you took your boss to a bar in order to bribe him into a promotion, would that be brown-nosing by getting shitfaced?

<Skippy> Marvin the Martian is preparing to blow up the Earth. <Bugs> But WHY do you want to destroy the earth?" <Marvin> Oh! Thats simple! Jeff Goldblum lives there. He makes me angry, very angry indeed! <Bugz> Let me light the fucking fuse Doc!

<DolphinDave> To do is to be. - Descartes <DolphinDave> To be is to do. - Voltaire <Freakalari> do be do be do - sinatra

* AlmanzoWarner pokes Wakky in the tummy. <CapRaccoon> kaky the pillsbury dough boy? <AlmanzoWarner> <Wakky> Nothing says loving like my spooge in the oven! Hmm hmm!

* Freakalari didn't get eaten. ever.

<Atomiq> i heard a great insult the other day, i have to use it at a hockey game: "God ruined a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth"

<MikoSqueerel> Q. Which should be on top, the male or the female? <DolphinDave> A. Why choose? Do it in space.

<DolphinDave> Women are expensive. <Frostbite> in some places more than others, Dave.

<AlmanzoWarner> "Do you mind if I sit next to you?" "Oh, no no not at all, I'm a pick pocket."

<AlmanzoWarner> "I remember being taught the birds and the bees as a child. My father sat me down with a Penthouse and a sheet of sandpaper and said ``Love hurts.''"

<DustyFox> On the bulletin board at AC: Star Wars Episode 2. "Emporer, we have made an exact clone of you except that he is half your size." "I will call him "Mini-Maul."

<MasemJMouse> Darth Maul is supposedly going to make a reappearence in ep 2. <DustyFox> Oh really. which half of him?

<AlmanzoWarner> "Hi, my name is Glen, and I'm here to wash your penis."

<Brendan> Episode I: The Feminist Menace: <Anakin> Hey! Amidala! Get in the kitchen and make me some pah! <Amidala> Up yours asshole, I'm outta here.

* Taperwolf likes her pongs. <Justin> is THAT what they're calling them nowadays? <Taperwolf> Yes.  They are bouncy and perky, with just the right amount of bite.

<Wakkette> I want a playground in which I can dole out beatings.

<Wakkette> one of the guys in Boyzone came out. I wonder what the others are waiting for. <Freakalari> with a name like "boyzone..." <Wakkette> like the backdoor boys <AlmanzoWarner> n-sphinc

* Wakkette doesn't like being around people that smell like ass. <Taperlass> Um, if they smell like _ass_, putting antiperspirant under their arms ain't gonna help much...

<Tetragon> Win2k sucks so much, the light from your monitor will have trouble escaping.. <Wakkette> you need to turn the brightness up.

* Brendan wants to be the world's first dealer/flasher/spy/high school gunman and monopolize the trenchcoat market.

<Yakko> "Take me back to New York City, where there ain't no grass and the weather is shitty. . ."

<Freakalari> there are no perfect strangers, it's just you have to get to know them to find the flaws.

<Freakkoon> You can't spell 'evil' without vi.

<Frostbite> Q: What happens to a lawyer when he takes Viagra? <Frostbite> A: He gets taller.

<Justin> thank god I finsihed this fucking job application <YakkoJMous> i'd think a fucking job would be fun and rewarding. <Mr_Fu> Pay probably sucks.

<Wakko> every morning there's a hooker hanging on the corner of Fourteenth and Addlehead / She's real expensive and she probably has herpes but, sweet Jesus, does she give good head....

* WorqTet wanted to get one of those go.to domains. http://come.to/butthead ... but it was taken.. :/

<Tetragon> <Taperlass> I get really depressed when I lose my breasts for a ling time. See, they're detatchable. And theyre bitey.

<Furrball> sqonq overflow (mint dumped)

* Freakalari is a larilicious part of this complete breakfast.

<Mintaka> ("What're you in for?" "Sexual harrassment." "Was she worth it?" "It was a he...")

<MysTi_FoX> Speaking of JEsus... on one of those church vans, it said, "JESUS SAVES". Now, we were all tempted but someone ACTUALLY wrote "Moses Invests" in marker under it. The balls to do that! Ha!

<DustyFox> <M$Barney> Beat me with a stick. Unplug me! Delete my program and make me like it. I want to be Teddy Ruxpins bitch!

<NeuCoyote> <BlairWitch> Be vewy quiet.. I'm hunting student fiwmmakers. Hehehehe!

<CapRaccoon> FUCK <Freakalari> LATER.

<Zeeker> virusscan has detected windows95, delete? Y/N

<Freakkoon> So sayeth the Lord, thou shalt not use a Q when in its place thou couldst use a C, or verily either a K; for to do so is an abomination.

<Taperlass> "Oh, give me a clone, a clone of my own, with the Y chromosome turned to X / And when we're alone, because she's my clone, she'll be thinking of nothing but sex."

<Brendan> <CaseyKasem> And next at number 22, it's "I Hate All Bitches With Small Titties Who Won't Put Out, Dammit"

<DisabledMiko> "Burglar!" "Yes, what do you want?" "Burglar, ma'am. I've come to take all your valuables." "Are you going to sell me encyclopedias?" "No, ma'am." "Honest?" "Yes ma'am. Cross my heart and hope to die." "Well, in that case you can come in."

* WakkoKitty is Lacrosse intolerant, I fucking hate that sport

<Taperlass> Barney the Dinosaur: Because John, the writer of Revelation, would have never known what a dinosaur looked like, it's logical to assume he would have identified any vision of Barney as being a dragon.

<WakkoKitty> general tso could kick colonel sanders' ass any day of the week.

<Varro> The people at the Walgreen's didn't know how to spell: "Pokeman is here!" Brendan works at the Walgreen's? IDNKT.

<Almanzo> WWBBD? <Captain> What Would Brian Boitano Do? <Varro> WWLD is more my style, Cap. <Varro> <Fundie> "But Lisa is a fictional character!" <Varro> "So is Jesus, from what I've heard of him."

<Varro> <Bart, age 25> You know, I had a crush on Brittney Spears... <Lisa> BRITTNEY SPEARS? (laughs)

* Freakalari must go to allow the actual owner of this happy little computer check her mail. <WindWalker> it's a Mac? <Freakalari> no, it's a computer.

* Freakalari says absofuckinglutely nothing. <Brendan> Absofucking is my favorite kind of lutely.

<Bugzy> Hm, tomorrow that richard simmons show begins its brief life before cancellation <Lupin> Richard Simmon's flaming rainbow hour?

* Taperwolf 'd like to sell out. Nobody's buying, though.

<Freakalari> I'm not as dumb as I act!!!!

<Varro> <Sheila> "It's Compac. Gimme my gun."

<Wakko_> German is the most cruel-sounding language in the universe, even when it's trying to sound nice. "Ich werde gehen annehme einen Welpen vom Tierschutz." == "I'm going to go adopt a puppy from the animal shelter."

<Justin> bah, I wish I could interlocute Beth tonight...

* MarkWBFox drinks till he gets FUQEDUP! <Taperlass> Short trip...

*** WakketteBunny changes topic to 'How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate her titalot.'

<DustyFox> Jesus! I choose you! *throws pokeball and Jesus Pops out* "Behold my glory" <Justin> <Pokemonguidecomputer> Jesus is vulnerable to betrayal and crucifiction attacks.

<WakkoKitty> Vinton Cerf's dog wears a shirt that says "IP on Everything".

* TrudysCousin believes he could spend the night with Shanie. He could even be on top. As long as it's bunk beds. :)

<MikoSqueerel> "My dick's so big that it doesn't answer Steven Spielberg's calls."

<Frostbitey> Can Bil Keane do anything for Family Circus that doesn't involve someone meandering around a house and leaving a dotted line behind them? <Freakalari> that's got to be a bitch to clean up, too.

<DolphinDave> I'm really not that violent. <Kette> you threw a chair at me just last week! <DolphinDave> It was only a little chair.

<Rakko> yiffnet is a chat network? <Frostbitey> Yes, and only one channel is dedicated to cheezy netsex. <Rakko> the others are for classy netsex?

<Skippy> Brock Lee: The Ass-kicking Chinese Vegetarian. "Enter the Tofu"

<WindWalker> <JamesBond> Why, you're a fish! <GoldFingerDave> A mammal, actually. I thought you had more brains that that, Bond/. <MasemJMouse> "Do you expect me do die, GoldSmish?" "No, I expect you to SELL ME YOUR GOLD!"

<DustyFox> <DLR> I'm just a gigalo and everywhere I go people throw tomatoes at me

<Skippy> I have made a horrible discovery <WakkyMouse> oh, skpis? <Skippy> Doughnuts are actually made from Elephant assholes.

<Brendan> "Enjoy Life... Wank More Often"

<Freakalari> major discussion on bulletin: sextris. <Brendan> Sextris? Is that like if you get full penetration, your genitals blink and disappear?

<Yitzak> "Come back to greater Serbia, come Christian, come Jew. We hope you can join us: we've cleansed it for you."

<DolphinDave> ronbar just jealous beccause only dave can fondle my cute, perky, non-saggable breasts <Baron> uh... smish into self-fondling his man-breasts?

<Baron> You know, the matrix is telling my brain this fart is juicy and delicious.

<WindWalker> hey now, you're an upstart, get your dotcom, get paid <CapRaccoon> hey now, you're a porn star, take your clothes off, get laid...

<Yitzak> >4:) * WindWalker loads photoshop to touch up the red eye

* Yitzak bops Kette with a clue-by-four

<Brendan> <John_Rocker> Shit! Whaddaya mean Reggie White is black??

* Rakko squeals on cap <CapRaccoon> get off me! <Yitzak> Now remember, Rakko, he said "Get off me." The "off" was the second word.

* MikoSqueerel starts a militant gay organization and calls it the Pink Panthers.

<WakkyMouse> "What the FUCK is wrong with German people?!" <Brendan> They're taking out their frustration at having to live next to the French.

<MikoSqueerel> AIE DUMBO HENTAI <Brendan> <Dumbo> Not only can I fly, I can refuel you in midair, if you catch my drift...

<DolphinDave> Whee, another fucking merger. <TrudysCousin> Funny, but I always thought that's what fucking was about...a merger of sorts. :D

* Kette works on furry pr0n so baz will get off her case eventually <Brendan> What are the words "her case" doing in that sentence?

<WindWalker> "hi, i'm the internet, and I suck chef's salty balls"

<Brendan> "I say! I shall have to adjourn to the larder and unseal a tin of whoop-arse!"

* Gwen washes smish, who may not have a vagina, but, well, you know, he smells like one

<Taperlass> Hey, even God gets horny sometimes. Look at what happened in Judea a couple thousand years ago...

* Lupin is away now - if i could buy, the world a coke i'd fill it up with pee.. then all who drank the salty brew would have a little me - Messages will be translated into spotspeaq.

* Nurse draws a new nipple, bbut does it dali style, and makes it look like both a nipple and a twisted qloq * Almanzo winds Nurse's boob clock. <SquirtleShanie> Complete with Swiss movement quartz nipple. * Tetragon ponders an undiscovered Kubrick sequel: A Clockwork Nipple..

* Almanzo 's taken the stuff straight in his mouth.

<Lupin> *** Topic is 'What Would Jesus Do? Swallow.'

<Taperlass> "We are born wet, naked, screaming, and hungry. Then things get worse."

* Yakko listens to "The Statue Got Me High" and hears "The statue got me hard..."

<TaxiGirl> networking... sex... what's the difference? <YakkoFox> the length of the cord.

<MikoSqueerel> "Oh, and don't *touch* that methanol. Get some on you and you could go blind." <Rakko> that's masturbation, not methanol

<Cap-n-Kako> <Lisa> We should be more than meaningless catchphrases. <CapRaccoon> It sucks my nuts! <Kette> Suck my proverbial qoq! <Tetragon> They totally shit themselves! <TaxiGirl> Shoot me in the ass! <Lisa> If anyone wants me I'll be in my room.

* Captain poqeflee LOTS with BVU goodness <Taperlass> Mmm, BVD goodness. No, wait.

<MinkTaka> I'm looking forward to one thing, and one thing only, at this point, and I'll judge the whole trilogy on it.  <Bugzy> The Anakin/Obi-Wan fight, on Pay Per View? <Bugzy> (psst.   .  . Don't Bet On Anakin) <Bugzy> "Tonight on WCW-NWO Jedi Rumble- that guy with the really long neck who doesn't say anything versus that funky little wrinkled green dude"

<MikoSqueerel> "Roses are red - violets are blue - it would be nice if I could fuck you."

<Almanzo> "Are you not sexually satisfied?" "Oh, I'm *very* satisfied, believe me." "Oh, I see." "It's just you're not always there at the time."

<Almanzo> Dancing with myself is the most tired lyrical euphemism for jerking off <Perry> But... It's not a dance. It's not even playing. It's pulling for your life.

<Almanzo> I can boof you better than that / I know how to make you get wetter / I could rub you till you spooged your pants / 'cause baby I can boof you, baby I can boof you better...

<DolphinDave> Shit, I don't want ankle-biters running around yet. <Almanzo> <Dave> Now, little Dave, Jr., can you tell me the difference between cute little teddy bear and the bear market? <Mintaka> <DaveJr> You smell like FISH!

* Rakko hates when his load is so high the mouse doesn't move in realtime <Justin> I guess that would make the mouse masem

* Almanzo writes a country song called "I Hate Every Bone In Your Body (Except Mine)" and has Garth Brooks sing it.

<WindWalker> sorry, I was talking to my master control room <WindWalker> I was impressing the chick there with my skill in making on-air graphics <CaptainWorm> *ring* "Hello?"  "Hi, I know you're busy rolling the break there, but see that graphic?  I made that.  Isn't it cool?"  "No, Flee, I won't go out with you." <WindWalker> yeah, she called me flee :P

<Bugzy> <MrConductor>Yes, welcome to sliming ti- <ThomastheRevenueCar>Hey, asshole, you gettin on the fuckin subway or what?

<Rakko> Dave, you're talking out your ass here. <DolphinDave> I'm talking out of my ass... <CapRaccoon> So that's what that smell is... <KinkyTurtle> he's anal expressive!

<Perry> Cap all Bazzy <MikoSqueerel> * CapRaccoon hole <MikoSqueerel> No, that doesn't work. Damn. <TrudysCousin> I was kinda wondering if Baz's evil twin showed up. Um, waitaminnit: His twin. :D

* Almanzo is away - Taking the Morgans out for a stroll. (Automatically away) - Messages will do unto others as they would want done unto them. <CapRaccoon> Alzo named his testicles "Morgan"? <Almanzo> Horses, you dingus. <MasemJMouse> they're hung like a horse? :D

<Almanzo> You need beatings <Captain> I do, but not the kind of beatings you're imagining and not doled out by anyone currently in this room.

* ShitBot grunts and strains... *** ShitBot sets mode: +oooo Brendan Bugzy Captain DolphinDave

<Almanzo> my vision is great <Brendan> Wooj must start masturbating more, then.

<AlmanzoJWarner> well I know I can't come. <AlmanzoJWarner> agian. <Bugzy> I didn't know you had that problem

* Mintaka hugshanie, even though she's not her

<CapRaccoon> If Justin was in the South Park movie: "Chef, you've got to help me find the clitic!" <Justin> You know, Cap, I just realized the other day that clitic and clitoris ARE in fact distantly related

<WindWalker> <PaulRubens> I see wanking people.

<Taperlass> "My name is Oedipus. You are my father. Prepare to die."

<MikoSqueerel> "I took Sex Ed and Auto Mechanics at the same time in school, and ever since, I've been kind of confused about where things are and what you do to get any action out of them."

<SmishKette> Nader cannot compel people to vote for him <WakkoBat> nader has mind control beams he made from old Corvairs. <Captain> Gore needed to fire up his Nadar.

* TaxiGirl laughs at fanfiction. "I had to get outside. If I heard Britney invite me to hit her *one* more time, I was likely to have taken her literally next time I saw her."

<RocketPup> "You know, I signed that release form so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot."

<Bugzy> <Ash>Sure mom, I'll do whatever you want. <Me(as Ash's mom)>Good. Forget this pokemon bullshit and come home and start going to school again <KinkyTurtle> <Ash> Ohh, all right. * Ash reluctantly goes back to Hogwarts.

<Varro> ** Teen Jesus turns water into Mickey's Malt Liquor and gains many followers.

<Captain> Pat Robertson gets constantly asked about alcoholism in the Old World, whether the water Jesus turned to wine had alcohol in it or if it was sparkling grape juice.  It pisses him off.  <Lupin3> Jesus drank so much that his blood was like wine, yo. <Lupin3> he even said so.  <WakkyMouse> Jesus was a wino! Cool!

*** Mintaka is now known as Takaway <Captain> Takaway. Sounds like a little kid doing math homework. "Three takaway one is two."

<Almanzo> "Bi-sexual. Now there's an interesting little word. That means that when you rub your hand down the front of somebody's pants, you're happy with what-EVER you find down there, aren't you?"

<Justin> I'd like to voice HER intervocalic labiodental fricatives!

<Brendan> No matter how weird you are, there's always someone who makes you look normal.

* Almanzo is apparently involved with someone. <Perry> Wooj, your hand doesn't count as someone.

<Baz> Lari and Qap, sittin' in a tree, w-a-n-k-i-n-g. <TaxiGirl> in a tree? bark scrapes. <Baz> Maybe it's a beech. <TaxiGirl> sex on the beech?

<DolphinDave> All your gold are belong to us.

<YakkoFox> there ain't nothin' wrong with a handjob. now beat it.

<ScoobyShanie> Crouching Tigger, Hidden Piglet?

* Captain needs to do laundry; he's down to his last clean pair of briefs. <MasemJMouse> "Guess Where I Hid Your Last Clear Pair of Briefs" <TaxiGirl> Clear? <TaxiGirl> I don't want to know what's in *your* underwear drawer...

<Perry> It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mir!!

<ScoobyShanie> We fucked like no one else had ever fucked before . . . we'll never get the cum stains off that floor . . ."  <ScoobyShanie> "And then one evening she stopped by after work; I pulled a Trojan ribbed out of the pocket of my shirt . . ."

<ScoobyShanie> "Lookin' back, all I can say is that he ran like hell to toilet three . . . I wish I didn't have to know that he really had to pee."

<Mateo23> The thing I hate about weddings is the way my old aunts used to come up to me and poke me in the ribs, cackling, "You're next." <Mateo23> They stopped pulling that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

* Brendan just thinks that everyone should know that Qwest sucks smelly monkey cock...

<MasemJMouse> "Welcome to Matt's House of TOR-CHA! Would you like the Care Bears Un-bear-able selection, or the Teddy Ruxpin Chatterbox of DOOM?"

<MasemJMouse> * Cap goes and writes the ultimate crossover between TR, TailSpin, and CB. "Do you REALLY want to know who Kit's parents are?"

<Frostbite> I pine for the days of *** Loser has joined channel #watertower <Loser> Give me ops. *** Op has kicked Loser from channel #watertower (No.)

<WindWalker> I'll have to see what I can do in WINDOWS XP <WindWalker> *thunder crash* <Baz> *windows crash*

<DolphinDave> Why do you want to talk to Al Roker? <DolphinDave> "Nice call last Thursday, Al." <Wakko__> "I left my sunroof open you dick!"

<CapRaccoon> Lake Flaccid, does that lie at the bottom of Viagra Falls?

<mosch> i mean, if you've just ripped a fart that could kill anne robinson, you should be allowed to enjoy doing it

* Feren has an alcohol problem. He doesn't have enough of it!

<Tofusensei> "Hey! Don't call my bitch a bitch!"

* Feren watches a Foster's commercial. "Fosters: Australian for Bud."

<RocketPup> So this little girl's mother asks her what she wants for Christmas . . . <RocketPup> She says, "I want a Barbie doll and a Xena doll." "But honey," says her mother, "Barbie comes with Ken." <RocketPup> "No, Barbie comes with Xena," the little girl corrects her mother. "She only fakes it with Ken."

<Perry> I LIKE THE SMISHES CAUSE THEY'RE SO DELICIOUS <CapRaccoon> GOTTA GO SMISHIN' <Perry> Smish is the snack that smiles right back until I bite his head off.

<CapRaccoon> "OSHA" is the first two syllables out of the boss's mouth whenever they show up at the front desk. <WindWalker> Oh Shit, Here's the Assholes!

* Almanzo imagines slim, studly Frostyplayer, stopping the hearts of girls everywhere. <Frostbite> with my horrid wit?

<WindWalker> yay, kill california! *** Kette (satokogirl@AC9651E5.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer) <WindWalker> oops, got my wish :c

<Taperlass> The name Rob Zombie always makes one envision a party where people are being introduced. "Rob Zombie, this is Jim Vampire. Jim, Rob."

* Brendan tries extremely bad penis shadow puppetry... "Ooh, it's a snake... Ahh, a fire hydrant! Ummm, maybe a mushroom, I guess..."

<Taperlass> "They're witches. They do spells together. Sometimes, I think about two girls doing spells together, and then I do a spell by myself."

* WakkoJr groans...I'm still part of this damn Fox Kids club? <Skippy> Wooj, FoxKids is like the crips...once a member allways a member (Unless KidsWB does a drive-by and take you out.)

* Almanzo hms and gets the hotgun. <Perry> HOTGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <CapRaccoon> DIWK what that shoots?

<Almanzo> my litterbox has less than an inch of litter left in it. I better buy more <Skippy> Most people use a *toilet*

* Skippy writes a song. "I cant eat love, go get a job bitch."

<DolphinDave> We all went to the Tanaka Sake Brewery, where we went on the tour. <Captain> Taka Sake Brewery? <MasemJMouse> Minty's selling beer now <Captain> TAKA'S MINT ALE <MasemJMouse> With a hint of MINT <Captain> "Skunky And Proud Of It"

<CapRaccoon> btw, for those with decent-sized pipes... * RocketPup unzips its fly. "I got a decent-sized pipe for you." * Feren tips his head, peering curiously.

<Skippy> When your network packet hits Afganistan it is printed out on a daisywheel printer and handed to a small boy who carries it across the desert to its final destination where all the papers are collected into a big pile and burned by illiterate peasants who hate you. <Skippy> Afganistan: Where the Internet meets LlamaNet. *spit*

* DolphinDave investigates. <Baron> Detective Smish <Baron> He's on the case! And something smells fishy.

<Mintaka> "So what's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?" <pause> "Einstein's cock."

<spot> I HAVE QUITE ENUF HARF ADN AN MAQING MORE RIGHT NOW!

<YakkoBat> Not ready playing football in drive A . . .

* CapRaccoon started a little grass fire just now, incidentally. <Brendan> A very little one a few inches in front of your mouth?

<Perry> You lie. You'd screw an anthro furry if they were real. >:D <Skippy> "You gave me crabs!" "Yeah? Well you gave me fleas."

* Feren grins, and pokes Almanzo. "So, you want to show me this little piece of evil?" <MasemJMouse> That's what he's calling his penis now? ;-)

* Feren pictures Sailor Smish, suddenly. "In the name of GOLD I'll punish you!"

<Brendan> The great thing about the internet is that you can perform a search on any word, and find pictures of someone having sex with it.

<Brendan> Some F-15s pounded the crap out of something to the west of here... <Justin> you have to watch out for those f-15's. You never know when they'll start whining about how they'd make a better leader than some stupid handgun, and start trying to steal energy.

<Perry> Wlah, I read that as <Kette> perry is a cool fag like me <WindWalker> Perry is a cigarette

<Almanzo> And you know what else? Taka and Perry also have male genitals. <VampShanie> Sometimes they're really really good

<VampShanie> I have decided that "Under The Sea" is really a subversive paean to oral sex.

* TaxiGirl just went to the bathroom and found a dime in her underwear. <Captain> What a lucky dime!

<Feren> Somebody is putting stupid in their water supply.

* WakkyMouse is away: store dammit <Nakko> He's fresh out of dammits, and has to buy some fresh.

<Almanzo> Everyone is dying. Bob Hope better sleep with one eye open.

<WakkyMouse> hooray, i slept all FUCKING day again <Captain> Whaaaat? When was March 31st declared Fucking Day? <Justin> DAMMIT! If I had known, I would have told Beth! <Perry> When Easter falls on Fucking Day, you get to cornhole the Easter Bunny. And he likes it.

<Brendan> Hey, of course, I just realized this... The pseudo-apologetic headers on spam I've been getting recently would adapt very well to a pickup line... <Brendan> "Hi! You're receiving attention from me because you have previously indicated desire to have sex with me either to me or to one of my friends with whom I exchange lists..."

<WakkoKitty> sex is an evil thing because people who have no business breeding have shitty kids and instill them with their shitty, twisted, worthless values

* Rakko should have made a movie a few years ago and called it American Cheese * Almanzo would think any movie starring Rax would be called "Eric vs. the Little Round Dick-Cutting Knife"

<Wakki> Today I saw a really fat guy (fatter than me even) standing on a corner holding a sign that said "Need food". Only in America.....

* Wakki makes "Tiqqle-me-Wakki". You tiqqle it and it giggles & purrs. When you turn your back on it it pounces you and Biteypokes ya till ya tiqqle it some more. If you decide to ignore it he will steal you wallet and go buy a "Trailer tarsh Barbie" to keep him company. Then you got troubles.

<DotWarner> Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's a shame! <SuperWakki> its a mirror

<Kette> we just broke in the new comforter, whee, it's blue <Perry> Qette spilt the blue mixture from the Maxi-pad commercials on it <Wakko> it would be cooler if they used like, red diluted tomato paste in those commercials. <Wakko> you would get a better feel of what the product did

<Tetragon> "Kentucky Freud Chicken - It's Motherfucking Good!"

<WindWalker> boo * Skippy calls Ghostbusters and has WW's spook-ass whacked gangster style. Drive-by with the proton stream yo.

<Feren> If you gotta go down, go down with a smile.

<Nakko> I don't think that anyone has ever been killed by a pussy. <WakkyMouse> except a lot of kittens

* MasemJMouse secretly replaces Fer's couch with a gay steel mill. Let's see if he notices. * Feren hides in the safety of Under-The-Couch. Hey.... why are all these sweating, glistening bodies here? Why has somebody offered to buy him a drink? What's that in that guys pocket?!? <Frostbite> It's probably not a banana.

<Perry> <DolphinDave> I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew... on Smishmas.

* Feren knifes Skippy in an unhappy place. <SaintSkippy> Wah! Stabbed in Ohio!

<Captain> Am I the only one, btw, that thinks that women in baseball uniforms have the potential to be insanely sexy? <Taper> "I'd like to get in _her_ dugout!"

<DotWarner> Name one way you can use a thermonuclear device that is GOOD. <Plucky> Explode it in France!!!

<Captain> In the future, every appliance will have a 20-number IP address and will be controlled by one or two gateway terminals in your house. Just imagine, it will be possible to have your toilet teardropped ten times an hour... <Nakko> Hackers don't need to hack my toilet tho. Now, if I had a bidet, they could really screw with me.

<Neowolf> I didn't like the acting in Disney's "Pinocchio." It was kind of wooden.

<Skippy> *die* * Feren stuffs the squirrel, then mounts him for a trophy. <Feren> AND NOT IN THAT WAY EITHER.

* Taper has always had a way with words. <Taper> Many's the time one's convinced a saucy adjective that we should go back to her place...

<Captain> The Adventures of Feren Ruxpin: Come Drink With Me Tonight!

<Perry> Time travel is like walking down the street for Shanie's dick. <WakkyMouse> "WOw, it's raining in LA!" "No, Shanie just came again. It'll be puring for days."

* Feren captures Yakko and sells him to the zoo.  <YakkoBat> i hate it when that happens

* Ron btw gnaws qap for being a sarcastiqap <Captain> yay! <Ron> NO YAY YOU FUCKER <Feren> Fucker? I don't even know her.

"You're not paranoid if you're RIGHT." - Dan Bernstein

<MasemJMouse> The curiously strong Mintaka. * Mintaka squishes Masem with his bare hands.

* MasemJMouse ponders a pic. Feren, passed out on a couch, empty milk carton in one hand, the kuhlua in another. CAption: "Mike, it does a body good!"

<WakkoKitty> idle hands spend time on the genitals. <WakkoKitty> and you know what God thinks about that. <WakkyMouse> not to mention the kittens <WindWalker> * MasemJMouse masturbates, killing WakkoKitty

<WakkoKitty> "i could tell it was ron jeremy pumping gas cause before he was done he pulled the hose out and sprayed it all over the car"

<Feren> GCC can eat a bucket of dicks.

<WindWalker> I choose you, Masem! Use squirt attack against Feren! * MasemJMouse BITES EFLEE <WindWalker> damn, not trained enough yet <CapRaccoon> IDWK what MasemJPokemon squirts!

<TaxiGirl> When Hemophiliac Furries Think They're Attacked, next on Fox...

<Feren> America is all about quality time with a bucket of cocks.

<Almanzo> love's been a little bit hard on me... <Perry> <Almanzo> ...when all I ever wanted was for it to be hard in me.

<Donut[AFK]> INSULT <Eurakarte> RETORT <Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT <Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE <Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP <Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM <Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE <Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE <Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE <Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE <Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON <Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES <Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD <Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<Scibert> Three @s for the IRCops under the sky <Scibert> Seven for the Op Lords in their channels of stone <Scibert> Nine for Mortal Chatters doomed to die <Scibert> One for the Dark Peer on his Dark Throne <Scibert> In the land of Ping where the Netsplits lie.

<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .::

<ZarcyB> i had a dream about irc last night :/ <ZarcyB> in my dream, everyone hated me <fraggle> it wasnt a dream

<Kosh> Wait for the LotR cereal to come out... Frod-O's, with a free prize ring inside

<Shinvega> Whether you want kids or not, eventually you're gonna slip one past the goalie ;)

<BombScare> i beat the internet <BombScare> the end guy is hard

<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden <sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia <DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia

<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac

<Beeth> Progress (n.): The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.

<PunK> she was a fast machine she kept her penis clean she was the best half woman that I ever seen

<EFX> does the cum in an australian girls throat go down counter clockwise?

<DustyFox> whats BD? Some kind of Feren disease? <Captain> No, it's a twist on the Japanese hibachi-style restaurant. * DustyFox read "Japanese hentai-style" and did a doubletake.

<CapRaccoon> ur gay <Feren> Only my hair stylist knows for sure. <Perry> <Feren> I pay him in protein.

"The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."

<VampShanie> god, do I go numb in weird places from sleeping in the crack all night.

<MasemJMouse> "Hello, my name is Mr. Feej. I believe you have some alcohol for me." "Certainly, Mr. Feej, I just need to know your first name..." "I .. don't ...know" <CapRaccoon> <Feren> Great plan, Mas.

<YakkoBat> bah... bbiab; i have my own accident to clean up on the keyboard now <Almanzo> yakko's pulling a James <CapRaccoon> What? Yakko's pulling his James? * YakkoBat gotta pull it anyway; hasn't been dusted in years.

<MasemJMouse> "Who's the black farmer that's the sex machine to all the chicks? WOOJ! You're daaaamn right!"

<WakkoKitty> "Geraldo is one of only four people the US military has asked to leave Iraq. The other three are Saddam Hussein and his two sons."

<MasemJMouse> "If the TARDIS is arockin', don't come aknockin'!"

<Feren> Wood! Let me see the WOOD!

<WakkyMouse> wow, I REALLY haven't touched this in a while

<Almanzo> this is the second time today I have accidentally heard Light My Fire...  <Daf> Good dong, though.  <WindWalker> daf likes wooj's dong

* Almanzo forms a band, calls it Carpetlickers and releases as their first single "Bottom of the Barrel."

* MasemJMouse tosses a cookie at WOoj <Feren> Don't be tossing your cookies in here, you sick fuck. <CapRaccoon> Better cookies than salads.

<MasemJMouse> "The Dukes of Hazzard. With special guest star - JESUS!" <MasemJMouse> "Oh, please lord, make his car fly..." "AND IT SHALL BE SO!!" "<boss hogg> Damn those Duke boys!

<Perry> "I've decided to become a gynocologist... I've done some thinking, and I've decided that my office is going to be called 'Joanna's Crab Shack'."

<Feren> Frostbite, what the hell do I look like, your Magic Hate Ball? Are you masochistic enough?

<Almanzo> "I am a man of constant sorrow. . . no pleasure here on Earth I find. . . but when I think about you I touch myself"

<WakkoKitty> Survivor: IRC. You have to keep trying to evade bans and akills on #warnercafe <WakkoKitty> everyone gets one shell account <WakkoKitty> and a list of open proxy servers

<Daf> however Johnny Mnemonic does have a very good fake nasty stupid dolphin <Captain> How's that different from #watertower?

* Mintaka pets Shanie.. <VampShanie> OW OW OW FUCKING OW

<TakaWarner> <MasemJMouse> "Here in my car / I feel safest of all / I can lock all my doors / it's the only way to yiff / in cars..."

* VampShanie found Home Improvement three-way incest slash once. :/ <Perry> Now that's gross. Was Wilson involved? * Justin imagines all the Wilson's-face-gags that would occur in a Home Improvement slash fic

<Skippy> To properly name Mikes skin color one must take letters from WHite and blACK and form a new word.

<WakkyMouse> "Everyone should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink."

<Skippy> * skippyfox wonders how many KitFox's there are out there. <DustyFox> I smell diaper. * DustyFox gets his assault shotgun. <Skippy> Damn babyfurses. We hateses them!

<CapRaccoon> If ignorance is bliss, chain me to the wall!

* Skippy is cheap <gnawqo> skippy's so cheap that he makes underwear from paper towels then doesn't change them for a month

<TaxiGirl> on the other hand, I pick a drink and stick to it, generally. <Feren> Sticking with one is good, makes you less likely to regret things in the morning. <TaxiGirl> Oh, I've never regretted anything in the morning. <TaxiGirl> Not even after I've seen the photos.

<Daf> Perry, have you always been evil, or did you take a correspondence course? <Perry> I studied over the summer

* Daf pitches a new reality show to Fox... It's about feminine cramp and bloating-relief products that compete to see which one works the best. <Daf> I call it "American Midol"

<CapRaccoon> You have to believe you have a large penis, before you can have a large penis. <Almanzo> wow whoever wrote this is a dumb sack of shit.

* qwertmyn (chrislikes@cm-24-121-11-69.flagstaff.az.npgco.com) has left #watertower <CapRaccoon> Guess chris doesn't like us.

<CapRaccoon> "The problem is that [Bush] might have used the cheatcodes for diebold to reach level 2." <WakkoSqonx> up up down down left right left right B A select start <WakkoSqonx> BUSH WINS OHIO

<WakkoSqonx> windows explorer needs to stop encountering problems <WakkoSqonx> let me deal with it this time, you dont seem to be able to handle it

* Almanzo has run into many immature liberals <WakkoSqonx> "with his truck"

<MoogleShanie> Daf is writing a Tolstoy-esque novel of an LJ entry. <MasemJMouse> ... <MasemJMouse> He's worse than Cap!

* Lari makes one of those multicolored banner things. "KETTE IS WANK".

<Perry> <Ketteat19> I know everything, bitch! <Kettenow> I know everything, bitch!

<Mintaka> 'cause the whole point is how "TECHNOLOGY" is difficult <Mintaka> and this dude in this suit that says "TECHNOLOGY" on it is always harassing people <Justin> well that DOES sound like Jay!

<MasemJMouse> Wear your Who scarf. <MasemJMouse> Doctor Who ALWAYS gets the boobies.

<Brian> The thing about Carl's Jr. is, I'd rather eat dog spooge.

* MasemJMouse pokes Frosty at chest height <Frostbite> I'd ask how you got so big, but that question would be wrong on so many levels. <WakkoSqonx> WTF MASEM DID NOT GET BIG

<CapRaccoon> abc.go.com still shows an advert with Peter's picture: "Peter Jennings reports on the day's events. Check your local listings." <Feren> "Reporting from beyond the grave -- an ABC innovation."

<Siren> Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

<dustyfox> I want to make an evil teddy ruxpin. "Hi! Lets play a game. Get's your mom's purse and find all the magical green paper inside. Now flush it all down the toilet and go tell your mom thats she's poor." <dustyfox> "Did she kick your ass? YAY! Learning is fun!"

* MasemJMouse gives Cap the spawn of the Care Bears and Teddy Ruxpin <CapRaccoon> Weren't they all male? <MasemJMouse> They found a way.

<Daf> Damn, Cap. <Daf> I salute you... You're a better gay man than I * TaxiGirl laughs.

<TaxiGirl> Peas are like edibile bubble wrap.

<WindWalker> speaking of, my date is on her way over :D * Almanzo crams a box of condoms into flee's pocket <WindWalker> screw condoms <CapRaccoon> Well, that's what they're for, yes.

<Rakko> The part about blowing your nose in your hands... my mom HATES when I do that <PerryMinotaur> Wait... does your mom shower with you?! :D <MasemJMouse> yours doesn't? :D

<Almanzo> "Wow, you're drunk." "Wow. You're stupid. I'll be sober in the morning."

<Daf> My mom gave me a cold for xmas <Dustyfox> Its the thought that counts.

<Daf> If you were to bottom somebody with a PA, would you have a prince albert in your can?

<Daf> Aren't I allowed to like my new mouse? * Daf takes his mouse out on a date. <MasemJMouse> Woohoo, I'm going on a date with Daf!

<Almanzo> god bless showers <Captain> What kind of showers? April? Golden? <Almanzo> yes, golden. <Almanzo> a day without piss on my shoulders is like a day without sunshine.

* TaxiGirl listens to cake <Frostbite> cake doesn't make noise... it just rises as you bake it. <WindWalker> it's hard for me to rise when I'm baked

<MasemJMouse> Oh great. Kids WB will survive the great WB/UPN merger <KinkyTurtle> <ChurchLady> What do they have left? Oh, I dunno, could it be... SATAM???

<nacco> USA! WE'RE GONNA FREE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!! <WakkoSqonx> AMERICA! <WakkoSqonx> FUCK YEAH!

<Aatheus> Hah! "When Spiderman laughs, does Silk come out his nose?"

<RichardFox> "The preferred sex position in married couples is the 'doggy' style: The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead..."

<MasemJMouse> Beat it more. <Captain> That's Masem's solution to everything. <MasemJMouse> :D

<Feren> If it does not taste of evergreen I do not wish it * MasemJMouse gives Feej 210% proof alkyhol <Feren> ... maybe I can adapt.

<Stephie> in Washington, they have foot-long slugs... <Wakki> those are Congressmen Stephie

<Brendan> Must... continue... impersonating... Shatner.

<KinkyTurtle> BLACK HOLE SUN MONKEY!

* Aatheus reads a SNMP book online <Mycroft> Super Nude Mario Paint? <Aatheus> That's Masem's favourite game, but no

<MasemJMouse> hee: "There are two rules for succeeding in life. 1) Never tell anyone else everything you know."

<Nakko> "You know how they say we only use ten percent of our brains... well I only use ten percent of my penis."

<Brendan> Soylent blaq is made out of Waaaaarnerrrrs! It's made out of WAAARNERS!!!

<CapRaccoon> <WakkyMouse> Moon Pillow Power... *poof* <SailorSeagate> In the name of FreeBSD, I'll punish you! Miniscribe Voice Coil Attack!

<Lupin> Hehe.. "Jesus is coming!!! Look Busy"

<AdamH> Maps showing only where you *should* go, made by Ayn Rand McNally

Skippy> Casual seqs? Is that on "dress-down" fridays?

<L3upin> Aunt Jemima Vs. Ms. Butterworth: The final battle. <Yakko> Aunt Jemimah would kick creamed ass! <Brendan> Aunt Jemima would kick her ass. She's got a lot of inner rage.

<Minkie> How about VisualMasem? <Baz> Things compiled in it wouldn't dump core, they'd shoot load.

<Captain> "When I think about you I ping myself..."

<KinkyTurtle> "You know... FOX became a hardcore yiff channel so gradually, I didn't notice!"

<Ron> though I'll admit there's real AI when any insurer is willing to issue liability policies on AI-piloted vehicles (cars, planes, or whatever) with no person as backup. <Ron> KITT, Geico's cancelled our policy when they saw that episode when I was unconcious and you were driving!

<Almanzo> it'd help to be white, pretty, and busty. <Lari> Not if you're a man, Almanzo.

<Feren> This conversation is making me grin. <Feren> Which means, MORE GIN.

<j> 'DO U HAS THOSE GLASSES THAT MAKE ME LOOK SMART ENOUGH TO BE VP"

<Wakko> "sarah palin said she's a hockey mom... apparently one of her kids isn't too good at protecting the crease."

<Captain> Y'know, anyone trying to push an abstinence-only curriculum should look at their own personal history, then remember the wisdom given to us by Pringles: "Once you pop, you can't stop!"

<CapRaccoon> Maybe if Sarah Palin thought she could fuck her way to peace in the middle east, I'd consider voting for her. <Wakko> one curry-flavored glans at a time